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In my office, above my desk, hang four clipboards. They have been decked out with pretty paper and mod podge. The original purpose of these clipboards was to corral the loose papers and bills and notes that float around my office into one place where I can clearly see them and deal with them. However, the clipboards have come to serve an even higher purpose: to recall life lessons that I really ought to know by now.

I have learned many lessons in my 34 years on Earth, often repeating the same lesson three or four or five (or more) times before it really sinks in.

One of them, I re-learned very recently. I started and quite an office job in two weeks. Yup, I quite after TWO WEEKS. One of my very first posts talks about the absolute stupidity I felt at that job. It was soooooooo the wrong job for me. My gut knew it immediately. Even at the interview, it just didn’t feel right. Unfortunately, I let my mind talk me into it. It’s easy to listen to your mind over your gut. The gut doesn’t communicate in language; it just gives you a feeling. The mind is trickier – it uses reason and logic. My mind often trumps my gut. Temporarily. My gut always wins out in the end. Which makes me wonder why I can’t trust my gut in the first place. So what is my life lesson that hangs on a clipboard above my desk?

Note to myself on a clipboard

I actually learned this lesson way back in 2007, mere weeks before finishing an Administrative Assistant Diploma. As everyone else was excited about interviews and job prospects, I was crying myself to sleep at night because everything felt so wrong. I didn’t want to work in an office. I didn’t want to be someone’s assistant. I didn’t want to work full-time, even if it meant benefits and paid holidays. I thought I wanted all that, but I didn’t. Once again, my gut knew, but my mind talked me into it. So, I finished the course, and promptly went back to being a self-employed actor.

But it seems, one time wasn’t enough for the lesson to sink in. I learned the lesson again in 2009, and again in 2011, and most recently, in January of this year. So, I made the sign. And, no joke, three days after I quite, I said to Will, “Mmmm, my friend’s office is hiring a temporary receptionist. Maybe I should apply.” Will replied, “Are you serious?”

I went into the office and stared at my sign.  Good lord, will I ever learn?

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